Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Beginning-June 1999

My first loss was in June of 1999. At that time I had a 4 year old daughter and was expecting my second child. The pregnancy seemed to be going well and I was 20 weeks along. It was a Wednesday or maybe Thursday and I noticed a thick discharge. I wasn’t sure if it was normal or not. I was also experiencing periodic contractions. Again, I was not too sure so I called the doctors office. They told me that as long as the discharge was not tinged with blood that it was nothing to worry about. I was told to put my feet up and relax. I did. Things seemed to be better the next day.

Then, on Saturday I started having contractions again. Again, I called the doctor. My OB was out of town and the doctor on call said that I could go to the hospital and be checked but that I was probably, “Okay.” It was up to me. I asked my significant other if he would take me to the hospital and he said, “No.” Considering that I really wasn’t sure if there was a problem or not, I simply stayed home. I remember feeling better on Sunday so I decided to go to the family reunion. I did not do too much. I mostly sat there. I wasn’t completely naive, but I did not realize the severity of what was happening.

After sporadic contractions later that night and the bloody discharge that the doctor’s office told me about appeared, I decided to go to the hospital. I had no idea what I was in for. This was probably the most horrific experience a woman could face. A resident doctor came into the room and after taking the history and relevant information asked if she could examine me. The expression on her face pretty much said it all. She told me that the membranes were bulging and that I was dilated to 3cm. At the time, I did not know what that meant. She explained to me that the baby was basically in the birth canal. She said that she was going to get another doctor and she would be back with more information. It was obvious that she was concerned and not comfortable discussing it with me.

I believe the next doctor was a specialist. He examined me and told me that they needed to do an amniocentesis but that it was my decision. I was there alone and barely comprehended what was happening. I was afraid to agree to the amnio and was more afraid not to agree. The doctor explained that it was necessary to see if there was any infection. If there was no infection, they could try to stop the labor and then put in a cerclage to try and hold the cervix for awhile.

Ironically, my grandfather was upstairs in the same hospital having surgery. I told the doctor that my mom was there with my grandfather and they went to get her. Not too long after, she appeared. I then signed the necessary forms and they proceeded with the amnio.

I remember lying there looking at the monitor, watching the needle and hoping that it didn’t hit the baby. The next thing I remember I was in a Labor and Delivery Room. The doctor informed me that there was no infection and that they were going to try and stop the labor. I was 20 weeks and 24 weeks is considered the ‘Point of Viability.” So all I needed was 4 more weeks.

Well, the labor never subsided and I delivered a beautiful 14.7 oz little boy name Christian. He was actually breathing and lived for 23 minutes. At 20 wks he looked perfectly normal, just small.

My parents were there when he was born and although I don’t remember too much, I remember them both standing there crying as I held him.

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